
Children of yesteryear, some also on trikes
The Te Ara team is working on a new theme, called Social Connections, which deals with birth, death and lots in between. We are writing about the stuff of life, and I’ve found that some of the topics I’ve worked on have made me examine people and social practices more closely than I may have done otherwise. I’m now more prone to place the actions of individuals within a wider context. This is not to say that I’ve become a fan of social determinism, but I do think that having a background narrative makes people-watching more interesting. Or maybe it has just made me more nosy – but at least I’m a well informed nosy-parker.
One recent experience of this happened on a rainy afternoon when I was sitting in a bus shelter with my almost-3-year-old son and a few other people. We had walked (me) and plastic triked (my son – remember these?) down to the shops in Newtown, Wellington, while it was sunny, but got caught out when it started to rain on the way home. As is normal for young kids, my son found it difficult to sit still, preferring to prance around the shelter and lie on the wet pavement. We proceeded to have a debate about whether he could ride his bike while we waited. I was victorious (for the ‘no’ team) after a brief period of reasoned discussion.
His actions, which I thought were quite inoffensive, prompted some reaction from my fellow bus patrons. One woman said, in a rueful voice, something along the lines of ‘the kids these days…’ I wished that she could read the parenting entry, which (when published) will show that disciplinary methods used by New Zealand parents have changed a lot in recent times. Or perhaps the childhood entry I wrote, which tries to capture the magic of this life stage, and looks at the fundamental importance of play and unfettered expression.
The body language of another woman suggested she found my son’s presence objectionable. I gathered this by observing that she kept turning her head to glare at him. Co-incidentally, I had been checking an external author’s entry on infertility and childlessness the day before, and the aspect I found most interesting was that New Zealand’s declining fertility rate (which has been at or below population replacement level since the early 1980s) can be attributed to more women either choosing to remain childless, or finding themselves childless because they’ve spent their most fertile years doing other things.
I couldn’t help wondering whether this woman had children and, if she didn’t, why this was the case – was it involuntary, through choice or by circumstance? Did she dislike children or did she find my parenting (or perhaps disciplinary) approach lacking? Or maybe she did have children and used different methods to the ones I employ.
This was social connections in action – different perceptions and social practices rubbing up against one another at a typical suburban bus stop. While I admit I was a bit cross about what I felt was unwarranted and unjustified attention, the work I’d been doing on the Social Connections entries had given me a willingness to speculate about the stories behind these women’s actions. I hope that when the Social Connections entries are published on Te Ara, they will help readers do the same.